A few weeks ago, my friend saw a vision of me emerging out of a graveyard with dirt on my face. Like I was rising out of my grave.
I felt like I died too. My boyfriend, Paul, unexpectedly passed over one month ago.
As you can tell, it has been tough. Something died inside.
But maybe I needed to die.
Our whole world seems to be dying to the old ways. We are leaving behind our old selves, old structures, old beliefs about how life goes. We are witnessing the fall of the 3rd dimensional world as we know it.
And from that dead place, I’ve had amazing healing experiences with both my parents. They have been there for me in a way I always dreamed of when I was small. I was vulnerable, crying, needing support, and they were present for my experience. They reached out and helped me.
Parents evolve, too. And, my inner-child is healing through these inter-actions.
I have been cracked open for initiations into new levels of consciousness. I can feel more light flooded my body and crown as old layers of energy are grieved and purged.
Of course, when I grieve the loss of someone, I are opening hidden depths. All my grief about my whole life is exposed! Layers and layers of old, crusty stuff I forgot about.
Tears just have to flow as I surrender and allow myself to become… my becoming.
Now, I’m even able to identify GOLD nuggets that Paul left me in his passing.
Especially noticeable is the beautiful love I am receiving from all the men in my life. This has been so healing for me to receive. My time with Paul and his passing has been major healing and reclaiming of my masculine self and in turn all my relationships with men.
He taught me about standing tall and firm in my will. I feel a rising strength and ability to take care of myself and my practical needs. I feel more able to take action when needed without apology. I’ve had lifelong issues with assertiveness but now feel my will is stronger— I am clear in stating my needs and wants in a more powerful way.
More and more GOLD surfaces every day. As well as the ebbs and flows of tears and grief. It feels amazing that I can say: I am grateful for my death experience.