Learning about the Grandmothers was a missing link for me.
Grandmothers carry the sacred feminine force of creation in their wombs and in their bones. Grandmothers help me remember my origins, reclaim my inner-wisdom, and feel supported as I step into leadership. I am not alone.
I know that I am here to reconnect, reclaim, express aspects of my intuitive, creative feminine nature that were buried after persecution as an herbalist, witch, midwife, seer, fairy healer, and wise woman in lifetimes and lineages of my ancestors.
Girls, women, and elders have been shut down for eons. Intuitive and magical wisdom is disowned within male bodies, too.
Patriarchy did its work on creating The Fall. This system encourages people to blame, shame, dismiss, and violate women and like-minded souls. Millions of people were burned at the stake, drowned in lakes, raped, and tortured.
I know I was born to celebrate my intuitive, magical, dreaming, oracle-seeing, fairy queen, elemental, herbal, elder wisdom in the now times in a woman’s body. It’s has not been an easy path. I came here to move through massive transformation personally and with the collective to clear persecution karma.
Change is accelerating at warp speed right now. We get to shed old traumas and find joy in our embodiment as co-creators of a new earth.
I began my work as an energy healer, herbalist, soul midwife, fairy and flower alchemist in 1997. I was very resistant and fearful of becoming a healer because of trapped memories of trauma held in the cells of my body. Becoming a healer was my truth yet I resisted it with all my might… for years.
During my first Reiki initiation, I had a vision of a thousand-petal lotus blooming out of my crown chakra. This was a beautiful spiritual awakening for me.
When I placed my hands on another practitioner to practice hands-on-healing, I fell to the ground in pain and anxiety. My teacher helped me see that I was washing away years and years of persecution memories to step forward once again. There were many more experience such as this… opportunities to make peace with the past.
I dated a man who was my perpetrator in a former lifetime. My body remembered trauma my soul received as a magical herbal healer in the village.
During one night together, mysterious scratches appeared on my back. He noticed and asked me where these came from. The scratches were fresh. We could never determine where… until memories flooded back of torture and rape as a village healer… from this male soul. Yikes!
I prayed to God/Goddess Creator. I asked to only be sent what I could handle. These experiences were so disturbing and horrific, it was hard to be with them and the horror of what my body experienced and remembered years later.
I’m sharing this story because an interesting thing happened during this relationship besides the surfacing of deep, violent experiences. I realized that this man, my former perpetrator, came to make amends. It was my role to receive the healing and offer/receive soul forgiveness in the way that I could and rise above victimhood.
Shortly after we met, he gave me the book Grandmothers Counsel the World: Women Elders Offer Their Vision for Our Planet and told me all he knew about the International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers. I met my future teachers in these pages. He had found healing in connecting with the Grandmothers. I am forever grateful for that.
He bought me dresses, high heels, and womanly items.
It was as if he knew on some deep level that I was seeking healing and peace with my female body and that he had participated in the wounding. Maybe he was seeking healing for his own inner-feminine as well.
While I was dating him, I had an incredible healing around my inner-male. A vision of the inner-male I was exploring at that time fell into a crevasse and was eaten up. A few days later a new big-hearted man emerged from the crevasse to represent the energy of my new inner-male. That same day, he arrived on my doorstep out-of-the-blue to end our relationship.
I was seeking healing of the judgement that society, religion, people have on women and magical souls. It is when we are judged and/or judge others that we project and blame and place others and ourselves in harm’s way. Judgement is like a banishment by calling out something as “bad.”
For decades, I have been on a path to release and rise above judgement to find my own personal self-worth, confidence, and spiritual power. Surprisingly, or maybe not, my path reflects the walk of many female leaders and wise woman.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that judgement is one of the most damaging things we can do to each other and ourselves. I have experienced judgement as a psychic attack in my body. And, I am still not comfortable using identifying words such as witch or pagan.
Living in a judgmental culture, my soul needed to create a new relationship with myself as well. I was judging myself… and playing the victim. This mirrored exactly what happened in the Inquisition and witch burnings. Women and their companions were judged as bad, evil, magically intuitive… and then killed.
What struck me most about the book on Grandmother Counsel the World is that most of these women faced a harsh reawakening from being a victim of patriarchy. Each one has a deep personal story of how they experienced low self-worth and then became powerful healers and leaders for the earth. These women rose out of victimhood into great power.
The Grandmothers became my mentors, role models, and teachers. I feel blessed by my relationship with these women especially Grandmothers Maria Alice Campos Freire, Flordemayo, and Agnes Baker Pilgrim. They paved the way for me and all women. Claiming our inner-Grandmother regardless of our physical age empowers us immensely.
Fast forward a few decades, and I am stepping up as a teacher, healer, leader in my community just like many other women. We are creating and seeking places and spaces where we will not be judged. That is why I am vigilant about setting sacred space for myself and my students and clients.
We all need unconditional love and acceptance for who we are and the gifts we carry. We need to tenderly allow the unfurling of the hidden treasures buried within each one of our souls.
We need space to accept the many aspects of our being that have not been allowed expression due to cultural “conditioning” or fear of trauma: fairy beliefs, herbalism, healing arts, hands on healing, animal/plant whispering, farming, magic, midwifery, water witches, self expression, sexuality, beauty. Regardless of your gender, these gifts are asking to be expressed.
It has been an amazing time to see massive awakening and remembering of our soul gifts. Many souls have reclaimed or in the process of reclaiming lost lineages and expressing them in their lives or out in the world. This is the way of the new earth. Be the change you want to see. That which judges or fails to support the expansive human spirit will fall away as we co-create the next Golden Age.
As the Hopi prophesize: “When the Grandmothers speak, the world will heal.” Now is the time to listen to elder women, take back your voice, and speak up and out on behalf of Mother Earth.
I offer Grandmother Lodge to anyone of any age or gender or denomination to experience and create and express in a sacred space with the Spirit Grandmothers as elemental forces of Creation. In sacred community, we learn from a different grandmother each lodge as we sit in their fields of energy. We attune to peace, hope, and practice true spiritual empowerment. Video on Grandmothers.